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Oct. 17th, 2006 @ 08:39 am In Loving Memory.

You made this world a brighter place
For those you loved so true,
We'll not forget the love you shared,
Because we love you too.

For all the times you have been there,
For all the ways in which you've cared,
We're sad those times won't come again,
But glad for those we've shared.

And so we say our sad farewells
And freely shed our tears,
You'll hold a place within our hearts
For the rest of all our years.

In loving memory of my grandmother, Margaret Anne O'Loughlin, who passed away at 6.23pm on Tuesday, 17th October 2006. Her determination and love of family, her courage and her passion will always be fondly remembered by her family and friends. May we all have her strength in the face of such overwhelming adversity. Wherever you are, may peace and comfort be with you.

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Aug. 17th, 2006 @ 12:54 am A World of Bullshit!

I'm sick to fucking death of this entire fucking situation! For all the crap I've been put through over a problem that never involved me to begin with. For sticking to my morals I lose friends, for telling the truth I lose respect, and for caring about people I lose everything! Over the last few months the actions of a select few have turned my world to shit and I'm sick of everybody else's fucking bullshit! From this point forward... if you aren't a close friend of mine... or a family member... don't come to me with a problem... because all you'll get told is where you can stick it! To the rest of you... FUCKING GROW UP OR FUCK OFF!

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Aug. 15th, 2006 @ 01:09 am How much am I worth?

Choose your answer for each category. Put a star next to your answer. Add up the $ to see how much you are worth. Repost with headline: I am worth $340

Hair color:
Natural Blonde $50
Bottle Blonde $45
Brunette $40*
Black $40
Redhead $45
Other $15

Eye Color:
Blue $25
Green $15
Brown $20
Grey $15
Hazel $20*
Other $10

Height:
Under 5' $20
5' - 5'8" $25
5'9" - 6' $30 *
Over 6' $35 -

Age:
13 and under $10
14-16 $15
17-18 $20
19-21 $25*
22-30 $20
30-40 $15
Over 40 $10

Education:
Middle School $5
Quit high school $0
in high school $10
GED $10
High School Grad $50 *
In College $75
2 year degree $85
4 year degree $100
Higher degree $125

Birth Order:
Only child $15
First born $50*
Last born $40
Middle child $30
Other $20

Smoke?
Yes $0*
No $20

Drink?:
Never $35
1-5 x's month $25 *
6-10 x's month $20
11+ x's month $15

Vision?:
No correction $30 *
Glasses $10
Contacts $15
Surgical correction $20

Car Color:
Red $50*
Blue $30
Green $30
Silver $45
White $20
Black $25
Other $20
No Car $10

Current Undies:
bikini $15
thong $15
brief $5
boxers $20*
none $0

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Jun. 15th, 2005 @ 01:15 am The Light

Just got this strange urge to write a poem, don't know why... don't know where it came from... but it seems to represent a few things to me... even still... the wording itself seems rather... inexperienced to me... like it was written by somebody who had never written a poem before... what do others think?

( The Light )

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Jun. 8th, 2005 @ 12:19 pm A new time has come...

Current Mood:

happy

All my life I've felt like I was hidden in clouds and shadows... denied my right to see the world through my own emotions... True I've felt love before... True... I've cared about others more than I've cared about myself... but nothing compares to what I feel now... I don't know if it is love, but my heart says it is so... unconditional and unhindered... the clouds have lifted to reveal the sun... the sun has chased away the shadows and filled me with warmth... I am happy... once again I know where I am... though for once... I can see what stands before me. This life. This time. I never thought it would happen. I'd lost hope in the greater things in this world. But hope has returned to me in the form of the most beautiful, most sweet and kind, most gentle guy I know. I love you... and you know who you are... I will find a way to be with you one day.

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May. 11th, 2005 @ 01:49 pm Is there a point?

Current Mood:

contemplative

I have been asking myself as of late... Is there a point?

Is there a point to the tedious monotony of life? Is there a point to all the suffering and pain? To all the strife and anguish that this world, this life seems to inflict upon us?

Some would say that the point is to learn... but must we learn in constant pain? must we learn in constant struggle?

And if there isn't a point... why are we here? why don't we just end our existence in this world and sink back into the shadowy nothingness of nonexistence? Because we are conditioned to fear death... Because we are conditioned to fear that which we do not know.

Religions everywhere tell us of the glorious beauty that our afterlife can have for us if we lead a good, noble life, if we strive to help people and do our best. Yet still we fear death because we don't know what follows it... we fear death because we don't understand it. Why do we fear something when we are conditioned to believe something better will follow it? Why not walk blindly into that which is unknown, with head held high and comfort and pride in the fact that we have tried to live the best life we could have, and that through our mistakes we have sort penance and forgiveness, we have strived to better ourselves in our day to day activities and through our turmoil and suffering succeeded at least some of the time? Why not?

Because we are afraid that we are wrong? Because we fear what comes next?

Is there a point?

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May. 4th, 2005 @ 01:45 pm Long time no use...

Current Mood:

cynical

I had almost forgotten I had this thing... but then someone reminded me... a VERY sexy man by the name of Dan... and once again I felt compelled to use it.

Life has been weird for me as of late. Work prevents me from enjoying a social life, not that I could afford one on my pay. But that isn't the worst of my problems.

My friends, as usual, have their own issues to sort out, and as usual, I try to be there for them as a springboard for their thoughts, someone who can listen without offering advice when needed, and someone who can offer advice when asked for. It seems that some of the people I once thought of as friends, and some of the ones I once thought of as more than that, can't distinguish between the times we offer advice and the times we listen in silence. Friends have been hurt by the lack of understanding in this situation, friends have suffered because others don't know when to just shut the fuck up. Now it is time to speak.

There are those of you out there who seem to disregard the feelings of those you claim to want to help, in the quest to prove that you are right in trying to help them. There are those of you who do not help in your claims to help, but merely interfere in things that you aren't wanted to interfere in. I admit that I have made this mistake myself... but unlike others, I recognise these mistakes and strive to not commit them again.

Now I've been distracted... lost in other thoughts and phonecalls... this thought is not yet finished...

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Jan. 21st, 2005 @ 06:22 pm Urgh... people!

Current Mood:

annoyed
Current Music: Bond Classified - Lullaby

I'm tired of people who seek to blame me for every little issue they have. I'm tired of people who won't acknowledge when they are wrong, who make other people feel like shit through their constant complaints and problems.

Today one of my friends was accused of doing something by someone I am no longer inclined to call a friend. This accusation was made without proof, and was entirely unjustified; further, I discovered at a later time, that the person laying the blame was downright wrong. The situation was caused by a number of people including, but not restricted to myself and the person themselves, but not by any fault of the person blamed.

I'm not happy, and while I won't name names, the people involved already know what I'm talking about...
This is growing tiresome people, stop bickering and stop blaming others, look at your own part in the actions, and look at the facts in completion before you make an accusation you have no evidence to back. Someone has lost a good friend today, and they will not recover that friend very easily.

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Jan. 11th, 2005 @ 10:39 am Another Crazy Quiz Thing

Current Mood:

energetic
Current Music: none

1. Kissed a guy/girl? Both... on more occasions than I can count
2. Used a sewing machine? Yes.. I broke it.
3. Broken something expensive? See above. Also, computers, calculators, a dishwasher, two TVs, a stereo, a car windscreen and a kids nose in primary school, etc.
4. Been lied to? Really, if I thought I hadn't been lied to, I'd be a fool...
5. Had a boyfriend/girlfriend? 1 girlfriend, 3 previous boyfriends, 1 supercool boyfriend who I love.
6. Been so scared you shat yourself? Maybe when I was in diapers
7. Sent threatening e-mails? Only to those who upset people I care about.
8. Recieved threatening e-mails? Only from people who I have sent them to
9. Lost 20 pounds? I wish
10. Gained 20 pounds? I wish I hadn't
11. Stolen something? Yes... but I got caught... word of advice... don't steal.
12. Had something stolen from you? My dignity? a hat, a watch, a DVD, and my girlfriend of the time.
13. Farted loudly in public? *looks around cheekily* did you hear that?
14. Burped loudly in public? of course... it is a sign of appreciation of a good meal... in Asia
15. Been bullied? only once... he got very scared... he left the school.
16. Climbed a tree and fell off? ahh... childhood memories... I'm surprised I'm as smart as I am with the number of head injuries I've sustained.
17. Been to Paris? No... does hating France count?
18. Hit someone? Only that I was related to.
19. Been to prison? Pentridge count? I was there for a tour... what about Beechworth Gaol? I've toured there too.
20. Called 911? Surprisingly yes... I was curious to see what would happen.
21. Been to a concert that wasn't so good? I used to go to Carols By Candlelight every year... they were all shitty.
22. Given animals away to the pound? NO! and if anyone has... would you come and see me... I'd like to change my answer to question 18 if you did.
23. Won the lottery? $25.40 (5th Division)
24. Been to Disneyland? In LA? Yes... in Tokyo? Almost
25. Been to Disneyworld? No!
26. Been to Six Flags? WTF?!
27. Spent money on something you didn't need? a laptop, a car, tv, stereo, etc.
28. Lost something valuable? my virginity.
29. Sleepwalked? and talked... at the same time.
30. Broken any bones? if I have... I don't know it.
31. Smelled someone else's feet? not intentionally...
32. Yelled at a stranger? just for the fun of it!
34. Flashed someone? no... never would
35. Mooned someone? no... never would
36. Experienced dejavou? when you can spell it... I'll answer it.
37. Seen a ghost? yes
38. Heard a ghost? yes
39. Been stalked? yes... three times.
40. Stalked someone? only as a joke.

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Jan. 5th, 2005 @ 11:32 am All You Need Is Love...

Current Mood:

loved
Current Music: obvious much?? mushy stuff

I'm so happy I could fly... Matt and I are in love... and nothing else matters...

L-O-V-E (Nat King Cole)

L is for the way you look at me
O is for the only one I see
V is very, very extraordinary
E is even more than anyone that you can adore

Love is all that I can give to you
Love is more than just a game for two
Two in love can make it
Take my heart and please don't break it
Love was made for me and you

L is for the way you look at me
O is for the only one I see
V is very, very extraordinary
E is even more than anyone that you can adore

Love is all that I can give to you
Love is more than just a game for two
Two in love can make it
Take my heart and please don't break it
Love was made for me and you
Love was made for me and you
Love was made for me and you

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Dec. 1st, 2004 @ 12:52 pm 20 Years Old

Current Mood:

frustrated
Current Music: Eminem - Like Toy Soldiers

Yesterday was crap. I turned 20 and that was bad enough... but mum dragged me out shopping all day, after waiting 2 hours at the hospital while grandma was admitted (for an operation that they didn't even end up doing). While shopping we found nothing worth getting. Then the fun of going out for dinner... it cost a fuckload of cash for a dinner that wasn't worth $10. And to top it off... nobody remembered.

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Oct. 26th, 2004 @ 10:14 am Irritations

Current Mood:

cranky

Well, my grandmother is really beginning to piss me off... and worst of all, I need to be supportive of her, because my grandfather is in hospital. He's had 6 heart attacks in the last week, or was it seven? I forget... anyway, she's been living with us while he's in hospital... and she's driving me up the wall.

Is this inconsiderate of me? Selfish? I love my family more than life, and I would protect any one of them with my own life, but she is so pushy and narrow-minded. She's still refusing to accept that I'm not a Catholic... which I wasn't going to tell her... my mother did (something else I'm not happy about).

Now I get all the lectures about not going to Church and how I'm turning out all wrong and stuff... sometimes I feel like stabbing her. Life is really fucked up at the moment.

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Oct. 14th, 2004 @ 12:24 am Somebody help me. . .

Current Mood:

Bored as Fuck!

I'm bored, I'm broke, I'm lonely. I have nothing to do except play neopets and run around the house in the nude... I hope a mormon comes... I want to answer the door *grins*.

Nope... no mormons... I think they've blacklisted our house after I told the last ones that I worship the Goddess and dance naked in the moonlight. Oh well, I haven't seen anybody in sooooo long, I miss you all a lot.

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Oct. 1st, 2004 @ 11:51 am Strife in life

Let's see,

I've lost my job recently, various issues involved in that event that I won't go into details here with. I'm almost broke now, and I still don't have a replacement job and I will lose my car if I don't have one within a few weeks. On the bright side, my tax return came through, that will give me a short relief on it.

What else? Still single, still lonely, still bored... I don't know what to do about that... I want to wait for someone who I like, but I don't know if they will still want anything by the time I can be with them...

Life is so confusing at the moment... why can't anything be simple?

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Sep. 7th, 2004 @ 10:11 am Long Time... No Post

And here I was, thinking I had cured my addiction to this place... this thing... when suddenly, unannounced and not forewarned, withdrawal strikes at my aching heart. Once again I feel the need to pour out the meaningless existence that is my life.

So here goes. . .

I feel alone, terribly alone in this life, in this moment within this perpetual existence. I feel alone when I am surrounded by my closest friends, I feel alone when surrounded by anyone. I feel, actually, less alone when I am truly by myself... because at least then, I know I am alone, I know I have reason to feel it.

What makes it worse though?
There is one who makes me feel like I am no longer alone, when I am with him everything is okay again... but he doesn't want me... he doesn't need me... not like I need him. It hurts, and I am alone in this pain... so lost and alone...

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Aug. 17th, 2004 @ 04:29 pm My Skills?

Personally... I don't know if I should be offended... I would think I was a better kisser... I've been told I'm good... but then... how many people could get lower than that?

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Aug. 15th, 2004 @ 11:48 pm Hmmm

I don't know what to say... I haven't made a post in a while now... Let's see... I'm horny (as usual)... I'm bored... somebody fuck me... or kill me... just do something to alleviate this bordem...

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Aug. 12th, 2004 @ 06:25 pm SHIT DAYS!

A Day in the Life:

5.00am - Wakes up for work
5.15am - Decides to get out of bed
5.30am - Actually gets out of bed.

6.00am - Opens the store
6.05am - Customer complains about some bullshit... didn't listen.
6.15am - Realises that this day will be particularly shitful.

6.15 -> 12.00pm more of the same shit!

12.00pm - WORK FINISHED... Yay, my day is going to get better... NOT!

Anyway... to cut the time catalogue shorter... I'm in a foul mood because people keep fucking me around... trying to organise a game and people keep making excuses for not turning up... trying to relax after work... trying to be happy... why do I bother? Nobody cares.

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Aug. 10th, 2004 @ 08:39 pm GRRRR! Evil Addictions!

This is ridiculous... I come back as soon as I am able... and the first thing I do is check my LJ. What is wrong with me? Will this slow down at all? I can't believe I'm this crazy addicted.

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Aug. 10th, 2004 @ 06:51 pm What Kind of Person am I?

Category VI - The Strange
Attractor

Though you're not quite sure why, people are drawn
to you like moths to a flame. You really
are too cool for words.

What Type of Social Entity are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

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